“4lifersss” 🧿

Here I am alone, and attempting to put my hurt into words. This time it’s you “pet rock”, see I wanna say I don’t know why I thought you’d be different. Maybe it’s because of how we happened? How I truly didn’t chase for you or how I was able to control myself. I just thought maybe it’s because I’ve been patient long enough, maybe it was finally my turn. I don’t even know what to say, I trusted you with the one thing I never wanted to give away again. I tried to keep my distance, But you, you “my love” were the one who said I could trust you, you “mi amor” were the one who told me you’d always be there. You “baby girl”were the one who told me that beautiful phrase, those 3 beautiful words, the only words I’ve ever wanted to hear. YOU TOLD ME, you were falling in love with me! I know I wasn’t perfectly fine alone, but I was getting there, I was becoming more and more of the man I wanted to be, the man that no one ever taught me how to be. So why? Why would you tell me all those beautiful words, and be empty about it? Just why would you make me believe all those beautiful words and become just a painful memory? You told me what you wanted, and so did I, but I guess only one of us followed through. I promised to understand, I promised to never lie, and I promised that whatever happened I would be “the man who stayed.” You promised a lot of the same things too, but see as damaged as I may be, I’ve never made a promise I couldn’t keep. My favorite promise of yours is that “I’m stuck with you.” God only knows how much I believed that, or how much I believed “4lifers” meaning I had you for life. So do you “remember all the plans we made? Was I naïve to think we’d get that far.” For what it means you did in a way follow through with one promise, because in a way you are with me for life. At least your painful memory is, just wish I knew which way you meant it in the beginning. I’ll make you one last promise “3’11” I promise I will never need you again…